Mother and daughter at the well
I’ve written this page as a message to someone who can possibly help a young woman, suffering from a prolonged struggle with cancer. I have written it because I see that this woman’s cancer may be a result of a deadly subconscious contract which exists between her and her mother.
I don’t claim that in the case of this woman such a contract exists, because I’ve never had a chance to gather enough information about her case.
My writing is motivated solely by the sense of my duty to disclose something that appears to be an actual reality, even though I am aware that I may have assessed the situation incorrectly, and consequently have drawn delusional conclusions.
I afford myself the liberty of this writing simply because nothing will be lost in case I’m wrong, and on the other hand, a whole life can be gained if I’m right, and if the appropriate action follows my suggestions.
I’ve written this page in order to make the person to whom it is addressed aware of what may be happening in the life of his girlfriend.
It is totally up to him what he will do with the information which this page contains.
If he choses to act on it in any way I will be happy to help.
If he choses to ignore this message for whatever reason, I will be totally OK with it.
For the sake of entering into a state of rapport with the person to whom this page is addressed I am giving it a subtitle:
F**k the chemo - Let’s dance
The above presented subtitle is justified by the following truth:
The cancerous condition which has inspired this page - over the span of several years - responded neither to repeated applications of chemo-therapy nor to the multiple surgical interventions.
The patient was losing progressively more and more body-fragments and when they start cutting your lungs out ...
I know that the person to whom this page is addressed will connect with it for the reasons which for all other readers of this material must remain secret.
In case the person to whom this page is addressed finds its contents not applicable to the situation which exists in the life of his girlfriend - what I’ve presented here still has a great value, as a general description of the deadly reality of the cancer-engendering subconscious contracts which exist between the people linked by the strong relationship ties.
As long as you do this I’m going to do that ...
Whenever there is a psychological pressure / oppression / overbearing expectation / attempt to control - exerted by one person on another in the context of a significant relationship - the pressured person has a tendency to enter into a subconscious contract with his tormentor in order to assert his violated right to self determination.
Such contracts are always structured as: “As long as you do this, I am going to do that”, and exist most often between a child and his parent.
In many cases of the parental over-controlling of a child, a child, not being able to openly oppose the parent, develops a symptomatology, which is meant to show to the parent that he cannot be controlled after all.
The utter deadliness of the subconscious contracts results from the fact that no one is CONSCIOUSLY aware of what is actually happening, and the solutions that are sought in order to eliminate the ACTUAL, NOT-KNOWN contractual symptomatology are by necessity doomed to fail.
Let’s take a closer look at how these contracts work
Our most desired / needed psychological quality is the freedom of self-governing and self-expression.
Very early along the child’s developmental path, a child begins to express this need by saying things like: “I want to do this by myself!”
If a parent is the controlling parent, the child is not allowed to assert his power and the inner conflict begins.
Consciously, a child resents the parental suppression of his desire to exercise his power, but cannot afford to openly reject such a state of affairs, because of his dependence on the parent.
In case of an older child - old enough to legally assert his rights to self-determination - a child may be also unable to openly reject the parent, due to ingrained in him rules of the “proper, parent-respecting” behavior.
When the channel of conscious expression of the child’s rights and desires is blocked, he is going to resort to the subconscious (totally covert to himself and his parent) way of correction of the unbearable situation.
This correction - which is always some form of manifestation of the child’s power - frequently expresses itself as a deadly symptomatology, which the parent is absolutely unable to control.
For example: A child of a controlling parent may subconsciously develop cancer as a way of silently saying to the parent: “See - you cannot control me anymore. You cannot control me in this area. Here, I am the boss and I will do whatever I want whether you like it or not. ”
The parent goes out of his way to help the sick child and the child - on the conscious level - also wants to get better, but no treatment works, because on the subconscious level, the psycho-somatic, disease-manufacturing mechanism has been set in motion.
The power of the unwritten, and totally silent psychic contract which says: “As long as you try to control me I will show you that you can’t, by cancering myself”, is such that in many cases a tragic end ensues.
In cases in which a child is legally not old enough to break away from the parent, and assert his power in ways other than making himself sick, his survival - if he choses cancer as his weapon - may not have much chance for the continuation.
If the child is old enough to legally break away from the parent, he will always recover from his illness, whenever the subconscious contract is the cause of the disease.
Such breaking away is not psychologically easy, but if a child is lucky to have a non-parent-based support network, and someone who can convincingly present to him the actual reality of his illness, he has a very high chance to succeed in life, in spite of taking the risk of alienating his parent.
In a case of a cancerous condition which a child has suffered for a prolonged time, and which has responded neither to chemo-therapy nor to the multiple surgical interventions, it is relatively easy to convince the child that more of the same will result in more of the same. It is relatively easy to convince the child that it is absolutely insane to expect a change from the continuation of the failure producing measures.
The bottom line
Whatever the case is - if a subconscious contract is the cause of an illness - the recovery can ensue only when the the setup which holds the contract in place is broken.
In other words - for the change to happen, a change must happen. This is a trivial statement, and yet the parties involved in such a contract, frequently fail to see this trivially obvious necessity.
How to create the change that will create the desired change is a subject that stretches beyond the scope of this page.
The person to whom this page is addressed is free to consult me on this matter if he chooses to do so.
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