It is not always the case, but most often, the negative self hypnosis happens to us in childhood, when we are most vulnerable and unable to defend ourselves from being poisoned by the negative subconscious conditionings.
Something has happened. Something terrifying, something that you could neither correctly process nor understand.
It was too painful to keep it in the "front" of your mind so you've pushed it down into your subconscious.
As you pushed the pain of the negative event into your subconscious, you self-interpreted what happened. Your negative self-interpretation lodged on the subconscious level of your mind and became your negative self hypnosis.
You ended up psychologically damaged for life. Unable to succeed, afraid of failure, lacking self-confidence, depressed, anxious, feeling not good enough. Your life has become a life of quiet desperation.
“I experienced anxiety feelings for the first time when my wife took me to the church about a year ago.
At that time, out of nowhere, I experienced a panic attack. My heart was racing.
I started heaving health-related fears.
My second major attack of anxiety happened also out of nowhere in a grocery store.
My health-related fears escalated to the point, at which I quit smoking out of fear of premature death.
I used to smoke a pack and a half a day since I was sixteen.
I became afraid of driving during the night.
I used to work as a truck driver, doing very early morning deliveries, and my fear of driving became so bad that I had to quit my job.
While driving at night, I feared that something would happen, and nobody would find me to help me during emergencies.
Whenever I am alone at home, persistent, negative, anxiety-filled thoughts enter my mind.
My anxiety-filled obsessive thoughts are telling me that I have a heart problem, that I will die of cancer.
There are also thoughts in my mind telling me that I will die early, much before my 'natural' time.
I am also plagued by anxiety-related obsessive behaviors.
I feel compelled to check and recheck locking the door, turning the stove off ... I check and recheck everything repeatedly before leaving my house.”
I usually ask my Toronto Hypnotherapy Clinic clients about their childhood. What follows is what my client said about his childhood experiences:
“I was a very sensitive child.
I was very naive and easily believed everything.
My father was a tyrant who used to force me into many things against my will.
He would force me to eat, and used to beat me whenever I tried to oppose him.
When my father noticed that I was afraid of something, he would force me into that fear to 'cure' me.
For example, when he realized that I was afraid of darkness, he locked me up in a closet and was going to keep me there, until my fear of darkness was gone.
There was a time in my life when I used to terribly fear my father.”
Agnes came to my Toronto Hypnotherapy Clinic in 2005. She developed her anxiety because her parents gave her away for adoption.
Her most profound learning in life was that she could not trust anyone. Her anxiety creating idea was: "If my own parents could dump me, for sure, I will be dumped by other people".
Agnes’ anxiety-engendering-idea created in her subconscious mind fear of relationships and the consequent inability to maintain them.
On the surface, she was happy and outgoing, but her life wasn’t working. She was not showing any obvious signs of anxiety because her anxiety was hidden under the mask of her friendly and outgoing behavior.
"I was unaware of the reason for my fear of life until I was past 30 years of age.
It was only then that my subconscious mind opened up in a dream, and using its language of symbols made me aware of the cause of my great lack of ease in life.
My lack of ease in life - in other words - my dis-ease in life was caused by what happened when I was still stuck in my mother’s womb.
I use the word 'stuck' here because my womb-life was not the most pleasant experience. It was utterly terrifying.
My mother had thought about abortion and I was aware of her abortive ideation.
On some very primitive - fetal-level-of-awareness - I knew that she was thinking about killing me, and you may guess, what kind of orientation towards life can develop out of this kind of awareness.
The ideas about life, which I got from my far-from-ideal womb experience were that the Universe was a very dangerous place - more than that - it wanted to kill me.
Another idea was that I deserved to die."
Over the years, I have met many womb-traumatized adults through my Toronto Hypnotherapy Clinic practice.
When you are in your mother’s womb, she is everything to you. She is your god, your universe, and the one who knows what your destiny is meant to be.
If your mother contemplates killing you - you develop the belief that you deserve to die. You translate her abortive ideation into the Universal abortive desire, focused on the termination of your existence. You begin to fear life. You also become profoundly depressed.
What could be more sad and depressing than knowing that your mother contemplates terminating your life?
Your unconscious interpretation of your womb-experience results in anxiety - the unspecified fear of everything - and depression that seems to permeate every aspect of your existence.
When Barbara came to the Toronto Hypnotherapy Clinic, it became immediately obvious to me that she had learned to build a wall between herself and the world because of her early life experience of separation.
She was a premie and had to spend a part of her early existence - cut off from her mother - in an incubator.
She didn’t come to my office complaining about her anxiety and depression. She came because of her painful experience of inability to form close physical, emotional and spiritual relations. She suffered from the inability to get close to anyone.
Barbara was unaware that what she was experiencing was only a symptom of her subconscious fear of separation.
She could not afford to get close to anyone for fear of being cut off, and having to suffer the pain of separation again. Her condition was best described as the fear of love, and depression resulting from being seemingly abandoned as an infant.
In her subconscious mind, she believed that loving and opening herself to receive love was invariably going to bring about the suffering of separation - something that she subconsciously decided to never experience again.
John is a very successful businessman, who had built his company from nothing to $5,000,000 a year, within a few years.
Why would he come to the Toronto Hypnotherapy Clinic?
What could I do for such an incredibly driven and successful business owner?
When John first came to my office, he said that what brought him to me was the image of the opposing - conscious / subconscious - mental forces, which he found in the business-performance-section of my website.
He said that, the image reflected perfectly his inner struggle, and that if he could only overcome his subconscious - opposing him - force, things would be "unlimited" for him.
What used to subconsciously oppose his conscious - success-oriented - efforts was an "overwhelming fear of not being good enough".
What I've observed through the years of healing anxiety and depression is that surprisingly, a lot of very successful business people suffer from fear of not being good enough.
They succeed in spite of it and frequently seek help to liberate themselves from its opposing them force to be even more successful.
John’s fear manifested itself only in social situations and especially during his public speaking engagements.
This incredibly successful businessman - just like quite a few other business owners, with whom I had the pleasure to work - used to make excuses to not appear during his company meetings because of his fear of public speaking.
During our first information gathering session - at the Toronto Hypnotherapy Clinic - John told me that, the only event, which came to his mind as the possible root cause of his fear of public speaking, was something that happened many years ago when he was an elementary school student.
What happened was that his physical education teacher made fun of him in front of the whole class because he couldn't perform certain exercises.
John never attended this teacher’s class again and was left with his "overwhelming fear of not being good enough" for decades to come.
John's story shows that a seemingly insignificant early-life experience which had lasted just a minute or two can potentially block a person from happiness and success for the rest of his life.
When Mary contacted me, she was hypnotized into perceiving herself as “not good enough”. She was a heavy-duty case of self hypnosis.
Mary worked as a real estate agent and all her clients were referrals. She could never make a “cold call” and ask a stranger for a listing because she felt to be “not good enough”.
Mary’s “I am not good enough” self hypnosis was deep, entrenched and absolutely nonsensical. If someone took her to court, and if she had to defend her case of “not being good enough” - she would have lost the case.
The evidence for her being much “better” than the average person was overwhelming. In spite of her “I am not good enough” self hypnosis, and in spite of not being able to call strangers, Mary was able to build a thriving real estate business.
Her intelligence was way above the average, she was fun to be with - someone you would really like to have for a friend.
I knew that Mary’s “I am not good enough” belief was a case of negative self hypnosis, because all of the similar cases are just that.
Mary, as a young girl saw her father only once. She has seen him in court, where he fought against her mother, to cut down on his alimony payments.
Mary’s father has not made eye contact with his daughter. He has not even looked at her once! To the mind of a child, this kind of behavior was utterly incomprehensible.
Here is my father - I have never seen him in my whole life, and he has not even looked at me... Not even once? I must be “not good enough”.
Mary’s father must have been utterly ashamed, totally immature, or just afraid of even an eye contact. He also could have been a cold-blooded bastard, but he could have never thought: “I am not going to look at my daughter because she is not good enough”.
This is an idiotic thought, this is just not something that he could have thought. And yet, the child had thought that idiotic thought. She took that thought and applied it to herself as her self hypnosis.
She didn’t have the choice to think otherwise under the circumstances. To her, it was obvious that the only reason for her father’s behavior was her own “not being good enough”.
The nonsensical thought, a total lie, a piece of mental junk, became a guiding principle of her life.
The whole event in court took only minutes. Through Mary’s self hypnosis, the minutes became decades of a crippled life.
After Mary told me her story it was obvious to me HOW she suffered - what was the root of her suffering, how it was structured, and how it could be collapsed.
The amazing thing was that she was not aware of it. She only knew that she suffered from thinking “I am not good enough”.
Like many others, she self hypnotized herself into a particular way of perceiving reality.
She did it when she was about one year old and has kept herself in her hypnotic trance of depression for 83 years.
When she was about one year old, her parents gave her away to be raised by her aunts.
They didn’t do it because they wanted to get rid of her.
They did it to give her a better life. There were too many kids in a poor farmer’s house, and not enough money to provide for them all.
The little girl’s mind, however, perceived her transfer under the care of her aunts as an act of rejection.
In other words, she self hypnotized herself into believing that she was not wanted, and proceeded to suffer from depression.
She got married, had children of her own, but because she had never experienced parental affection, she was unable to give that affection to her kids.
This was another facet of her self hypnosis, which expressed itself in her inability to show love.
Her life has not been a happy life.
Self hypnotized into perceiving life as futile, most of the time she didn’t feel like doing anything, and spent a lot of time in bed withdrawn from her family life.
Her perception of the futility of life and pointlessness of all efforts has developed as a result of her self hypnotic, subconscious semantics, which - I speculate - resembled the following, hypothetical train of thought:
“It’s pointless to be born into this world. Your mother gives you birth and then she gives you away. It’s futile to expect anything good in this life ...”
This is how the little girl must have spoken to herself, mainly in her subconscious mind. This is how she has made her own self-hypnotic sense, out of the most traumatic event of her life.
Her life-long depression and inability to express love are examples of what happens in the human lives as a result of the childhood self hypnosis and the self hypnosis which arises in the later years of life.
Of course, one could say that this 83-year-old woman has suffered all her life because of what her parents did to her when she was a little child.
This is what it appears to be to all those who cannot see deeper into what the causes of childhood self hypnosis are all about.
In all of these cases something happens to a child - but what happens is NOT the real issue. The real issue is the MEANING which a child places on what happened.
It is precisely this mind-possessing, self-assigned meaning, that I call by the name of self hypnosis.
Children do not possess the maturity of vision, and the ability to create mature meanings - out of the negative events they go through - in a way that results in the positive psychological outcomes.
There are millions of people out there, walking around hypnotized by the power of their negative, childhood self hypnosis, thinking that they suffer from depression, anxiety, fear, anger and what have you - not realizing what the actual, mental mechanism of their “suffering” really is.
A little girl was bitten by a large dog; the whole incident took only a split second. In a blink of an eye, the traumatic event got imprinted in her subconscious mind. As a middle-aged woman, she still suffers from her fear of dogs.
What took only a moment has turned into life-long subconscious conditioning: fear of dogs. Her friend’s dog is the most harmless creature in the world, and yet, she could never dare to pet it.
Consciously, she knows that this dog would never harm her; subconsciously, however, she is afraid and can do nothing about it. Unless she goes through the process of “unconditioning”, she will suffer from her fear for the rest of her life.
The example presented above shows how easily you can become subconsciously conditioned. In most cases, however, the process of mind conditioning takes a long time.
It takes a long time for a parent to subconsciously condition his daughter into believing that she’s “math-stupid”. The father of my seventeen-year-old client has accomplished just that by calling his daughter “stupid” while tutoring her in math.
Under his “care”, the girl became “math-stupid” and failed all her math-related subjects. It took twelve sessions of hypnotic perception modification to enable her to perceive herself as smart and capable. Within a couple of months, she became the best math student in her class.